Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Ft Lewis, WA

I really don't believe that sentiment about the "warm gun."  I'm not really a "gun guy," but many folks here are.  Lucky for them they get a fair amount of practice on the range.  Yesterday we spent another full day sending lead at a bunch of bowling pin-looking targets.  Center of mass, baby.

Yesterday's training was called "Short Range Marksmanship," as we had to do several tasks while shooting, along the lines of walking, turning, and firing.  We also had a target with several different colored and numbered bullseyes; when the range safety officer gave us a command ("Middle Right!", "RED!," "Number 5!") we had a split second to engage that target.

Here's a telling gun story: while at the range I had a conversation with our Army liaison officer.  He revealed to us that he had the embarrassing habit of biting his nails.  Been trying for years to stop.  But this year was different: after discussing with his wife his desire to truly quit, he came up with the idea of buying himself a new .45 pistol as a reward for quitting.  Whatever works, I told him.

Like I said, I am not into the warm gun thing, but I can tell you I am getting a lot better at shooting an M16.  Unfortunately, the knowledge and skills I need to be effective in the ICU seems to be leaking out of my brain.  I do not know for sure why we do this - gun training rather than working together as a medical team doing medical things - but will expound upon my theories as to why later.


For lunch we dined on the MRE - the "Meal Ready to Eat."  MREs merit some discussion, if you are not familiar with them.  They are 2500 calories of pure bliss.  Not really, but they are OK, mostly tolerable.  They are very dense - things like dried crackers and cheese spread or peanut butter.  I think they are designed to stop you up, just like the cheese and nuts served on a cross country plane trip.  You can't fight the enemy if you are doing your business in the latrine now, can you?  One of the sailors told me a story that during his last deployment he had eaten MREs for 14 days straight.  No bowel movements the entire time.  He said when he came back to the main post and ate regular DFAC food that he spent an hour in the latrine with stomach cramps, evacuating his bowels.  Sorry for that visual.

MREs come in a multitude of different flavors - meat loaf, chicken tetrazini, beef enchilada, and a variety of vegetarian options.  The vegetarian MRE has a funny story - this is how I recall they were "born:" during the Bosnian conflict we would send MREs to the populace by the parachuted palates-ful.  Unfortunately they had non-halal meat in many of them, and the Muslim Bosnians wouldn't eat them.  Hence, the vegetarian MRE was born.  I have yet to see a vegan MRE but I'm sure the geniuses in the MRE factory in Cincinatti are working on it.